This seems to be a topic that does the rounds from time to time. I would love to know what you think.
Should fat kids be taken away from their parents?
Total Voters: 85
Loading ...Regardless of your view, please let me know in the comments why you think one way or the other – anonymously is fine.
We got our fortnightly veggie box last night and this week we didn’t get a chance to change what was in it before it was delivered. This meant we got a few things that we wouldn’t normally get, with one of those being celery. I’m not one to eat a stick of celery and I don’t really use it in cooking but the one thing I think has to have celery is a good soup. A soup is not really a hearty soup without the holy trinity of soup – onion, carrot and celery.
While I was at the shops today I was thinking about what sort of soup I could make. Before Natalie became a vegetarian I would have made a pea and ham soup, but that was out of the question. I also love barley in my soups as it just has this lovely favour and texture that kicks it up a notch. So I thought why not combine pea and barley to make a delicious any time soup?
A photo of my Pea and Barley soup in a white bowl with some crusty wholemeal toast
Ingredients
1 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 Medium Onion, diced
2 Garlic cloves, minced
2 Medium Carrots, diced
3 Celery stalks, diced
2 cups Green Split Peas, rinsed
2 cups Barley
3 litres Vegetable Stock
3 bay leaves
3 tbsp Smoked Paprika
Salt and Pepper, to taste
Directions
This made 8 good sized serves and is delicious. I didn’t have the garlic but I include it in the recipe since a) I would have used it if I had it and b) you can never go wrong with garlic. If during cooking it starts to look a little dry, you can add some water or stock but don’t add too much. I used an extra 500ml and it has turned out fine but I would probably use less (or none) and have a thicker, heartier soup next time.
Experiment a little. You could throw some diced ham or bacon in and let it cook through, or fry it off and add it to the finished soup. You could use chicken stock instead of veggie stock, or some different herbs and spices. You can’t really go wrong with a simple soup like this!
I had a discussion with someone the other day about urination in the shower. I wondered how widespread this practice was so thought I would see who would be game enough to answer this poll.
Have you ever urinated in the shower?
Total Voters: 35
Loading ...Results are anonymous so don’t be shy!
A couple of months ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.
Prior to this I lived in a space that was safe and loving of my body. I knew that I was sick since the doctor already knew that my testosterone was running low. I thought I’d need some booster shots for the rest of my life and that would be that. Simple. Easy. Done.
Besides that I was well. I was fit and healthy in every other way. I could walk and exercise. I’ve had some reflux issues for a while but they were under control and I knew what to eat to help minimise those issues. I would eat when I was hungry and try to pick foods that would nourish me. Sometimes I’d choose foods which would nourish me in other ways than nutrition, and I was cool with that.
If I was hungry at 1am I could make a trip to Maccas on the odd occasion. Or I could make toast, or make some other sort of snack. If we were out shopping I know that I could have lunch or dinner at the food court or at some other place and not be too concerned about the food choices available. There would be something there that I could enjoy and would want to eat and would feel good about eating.
I could enjoy sushi, kebabs, fish and chips, chicken and chips or even a burger and chips. I never felt guilty about eating whatever it was I was eating. I sometimes ate a lot and I sometimes ate less, depending on what I felt my body needed. I would sometimes over eat and deal with the consequences and sometimes I would under eat and go back for more later.
I miss that guy.
Now days I test myself regularly to see what my blood sugar levels are. I take medication three times a day that causes stomach upsets and diarrhoea. I wait for an appointment with a specialist who I know will tell me to lose weight and move more. I now force myself to exercise even if I don’t have the energy to do so.
I have no idea what I can eat and what I can’t eat. I get the basics of it – Low GI is good. Yet what does that exactly mean? What can I have for lunch based on what is in the pantry? What if there is nothing? What if I feel like some sushi, which I have no idea whether it is low GI or not?
I’ve been told I have to lose weight by my GP in order to help this. Not a lot mind you, but just enough to bring things back under control. But what does that mean? What do I do to make that happen? There is no magic pill.
And yet if I don’t get my blood sugar levels under control then it’s going to be very hard to lose any weight. My blood sugar levels have been so very high recently that my doctor is concerned. “Take more tablets” is the cry. So I do. And little happens.
So all I can focus on is my diet. I wonder if something I want to have is Low GI or not. Or low in carbs at least. I had French Toast for dinner because it’s Low GI due to the eggs. I would have rather had a jaffle with spaghetti but that isn’t possible. It’s 1:45 am and I’m really very hungry, and yet I’m afraid that if I eat my blood sugar levels will be too high when I test them for bed.
So I sit here, hungry, waiting for tiredness so I can get to sleep. I hate my body and I hate that it is failing on me. I hate that I now have to relearn everything I know about myself to try and fit in with what my body now requires. I don’t have time to deal with this. I have work, a home to look after, a wife who adores me that I want to spend time with.
I get that it isn’t just me who deals with this. I feel bad that I feel bad. I feel ashamed that I dare let such a little problem upset me. But it does upset me. I don’t know who I am any more. I don’t know what I can do day to day. I have to think differently about food but no one can tell me how I’m meant to think about food. So I have to try and make it all up from scratch.
I’m scared that I’ll be pushed into bariatric surgery. Or Weight Watchers. Or more walking with mum when I move home. I know she doesn’t get me when it comes to being fat. She’s never been fat so how can she understand what it is like? She figures that if I am unhealthy it must be because I don’t walk enough or eat too much and I need to do something about my weight.
I want to live. This doesn’t feel like living. This feels like a maze of confusion where it is easier to choose not to live, at least consciously. I’m not talking about suicide. I’m talking about just switching off and just autopiloting through it because sometimes it would just be easier. Stop eating, and the sugar levels will always be low.
One day I hope that I will look back on all this and chuckle a little. I hope that I have that one day in me, because heck if I fuck this up that one day might not happen. I have no idea how I’m going to get through this. I know I will, but the whole thing scares me beyond belief.
A good friend of mine and fellow fat activist Sonya wrote an article over at Lip. I left a comment on it due to some of the other comments completely missing the point of her article. Since the comment was a little TL;DR I thought I would post it here as well, since it is probably more of a blog post/rant than a comment. You should probably check out the original post first for context.
Are you all serious? (ok most, not all)
Think back about all of the weight loss products you or your friends have tried over the years. Have any of them helped you lose weight and then keep it off for ever? A small percentage of you will say yes, and good luck to you. For the large percentage of people the answer is no, No, NO!
Scientific studies that have been done in recent years show that short term weight loss is achievable through all sorts of diets but that long term weight loss is very much a pipe dream. Those who achieve short term weight loss and then gain end up gaining more weight than when they started.
I’m a prime example. I used to weigh around 120kg in my 20s. I went on weight watches and got below the ‘magic’ 100kg mark. I then ballooned up to 135kg. I did that TWICE. That left me around the 150-160kg mark. Perhaps if I had not dieted, I’d still be around the 120kg mark.
That isn’t the point though. The point is that what you feel about your body is about what is in your head. I read an excellent article this morning which talked about a lady who was a size 10, who wouldn’t be happy until she was a size 8. When she was a size 8, size 6 was where she had to be.
You have to make a conscious decision to realise that most people stuffer from some form of body dysmorphia. You will always feel fatter or uglier or than you are until you realise that.
It isn’t easy. You have to work at it. I have some awful days. I have some brilliant days. But life goes on regardless. I eat well and exercise. I’m healthy, give or take. That’s what life is about. Not unattainable goals.
Thanks to Sonya for trying to point this out. It is a shame that the point was missed on most of you.
Awesmome lady and friend Melissa has written today’s guest post. She currently lives in Turkey, loving live and living it to the full. She sent this to me a couple of weeks ago after a personal experience got her thinking. I’ve been a bit slack and busy, but today got around to reading her post and this is a very moving and powerful story. Please make Melissa feel welcome as she makes her first forray into the world of Fat Acceptance blogging.
Recently an acquaintance of mine, “Jane” (who, like me, is single by choice), e-mailed a video to every woman in her address book. The video was one of those compilations with a laugh track, where men are doing “disgusting” things like being fat and drunk, being fat and toothless, being fat and clumsy, being fat and bald… you see the pattern. The caption Jane put on the video was, “this right here is why I’m happily single!”
I immediately felt my hackles rising, but I knew Jane meant both the video and the comment to be a joke, albeit a tasteless one. So instead of being the arsehole who bitches about not finding it funny, I decided to throw the e-mail away and not say anything at all… which I later realised makes me the arsehole who doesn’t defend her brothers (or indeed herself) when the time comes. If nothing else, even if I wasn’t going to comment on behalf of the men in the video, I should have spoken up for my own views on being single. I think there’s already too much of an unhelpful stereotype that women who choose to be single do so because they hate men, or because they find men repugnant when said men don’t meet up to some arbitrary Hollywood standard of attractiveness. None of that has anything to do with why I’ve chosen to be single. And I resent the implication that I would remain single on such a ridiculous premise as “because men are fat,” especially when that implication is coming from another single woman.
As it turns out, one woman did respond negatively to Jane’s e-mail, but she missed the point quite spectacularly. She attached a photo of a tall, slender, muscular man with dark hair and blue eyes, and she said, “Jane, be fair— they’re not all ugly trolls!”
Sigh.
I thought for a moment about how if this were reversed and a group of men were talking about how not all women are fat pigs and that some are sexy supermodels, as women we’d be absolutely fucking incensed. But it’s okay when we do it to men, right? Men can take it, and if they can’t, then that’s even more evidence that those particular men (i.e. the fat ones) can be safely dismissed as not manly enough to be worthy of our attention.
Seriously, what year is this?
A woman calling a man an ugly troll, regardless of what he looks like, is an incredibly short-sighted act, not to mention that the comment says a lot more about the woman than it does about the man. Yes, we all have things we find physically attractive and things we don’t find physically attractive, and I’m not saying I’m always perfect about not judging people unfairly, but to write a human being off as unworthy of companionship due to his appearance not adhering to fashion magazine standards… that just seems, well, disgusting. It also means that if it’s okay for women to tear men down that way, then it has to be okay for men to tear women down in the same way… or, as is sadly so often the case, for women to tear each other down and men to tear each other down. Why do humans find that kind of behaviour necessary? And worse, why do they think it makes them look funny or cool to act and talk that way?
Ever since Janevideogate, I’ve been wondering if I’m making too big a deal about this issue. The video was intended to be a lighthearted joke, after all, and I’m certainly no stranger to over-analysis. But I feel there’s something very wrong about women complaining that they feel pressured to starve themselves down to a size zero because many men judge them solely on how thin they are, and yet those same women are happy to point and laugh and say that they’d rather be single forever than have to date a fat man. I’m aware there’s a general public opinion that fat people, both male and female, don’t have feelings, and that it’s okay to ridicule their fat. But it seems to me there’s an even higher level of taunting that fat men in particular are required to endure, simply because they’re expected to “be men” about it, and sadly we have come to equate masculinity with an ability to withstand hurtful insults dressed up as cheap humour.
I’m curious to hear opinions on this topic. This recent event has certainly prompted me to re-evaluate my own views on gender expectations, especially where body image is concerned, and to try to find some way to express myself effectively to those whose jokes I find offensive and cruel.
This subject matter is very personal. I’ve taken a bit of time to sit back and think about whether I really want to open up about this on my blog but I think it is important that I do.
As I wrote in one of my previous posts I’ve been a bit unwell recently. At the time I figured that everything that was going on was due to my mental health issues. The symptoms seemed to fit the bill and my doctor was sure that was it. Don’t get me wrong here – I still have a mental illness and the symptoms still relate to that in some way. It’s just that things changed recently.
About a month ago I felt a pain in my right breast. At first I figured this was some bruising or some such weird pain that was easily pushed aside. I only ever felt it when I was laying on my stomach so I thought perhaps it was just the way I was laying. Yet over the weeks that followed the pain got worse day by day. Now even if I bump it against something it can hurt. It’s not excruciating but certainly something to be concerned about.
So I did like most men wouldn’t do and I went to the doctor. We chatted about all the symptoms she poked and prodded and what not and she diagnosed something that I had never heard of. Gynecomastia. In basic layman terms, the tissue around my breasts was inflamed and sore, which is what can happen to boys during puberty. Apparently men on steriods have this issue as well. So off for some blood tests and an ultrasound to rule out any other causes like breast cancer. Don’t forget men of the world that you have to be just as careful about breast cancer.
Blood results are back and the reason has been identified. I have very low levels of Testosterone. Very. Low. I’m sure some men may be thinking at this point “am I really a man if I don’t have testosterone?” when they hear such a result. Personally I’m just relieved to have some idea of what is going on with my body.
If you check out this link to the Wikipedia article section it shows you what effect testosterone has on the human body regardless of gender. My bloods also showed irregular red blood cell levels and glucose levels, which could both be due to this. My recent weight gain above my regular set weight point, my lethargy, disinterest in the world in general and the exacerbation of my mental health issues could all be related to this one hormone. It makes you realise just how finely balanced the human body is and how easy it is to screw it all up.
I have to have some further blood tests next week and then if that confirms the findings I’ll be able to get some form of supplement to treat the symptoms. it is likely due to me taking my anti depressants as there is a link between drugs that affect the brain and hormone levels. I won’t be going off them because they are too important for me right now but we’ll see what the doctor has to say.
Why am I sharing this with you?
I want men of the world to realise how important it is to listen to their bodies. it is important to go to the doctor when they are feeling unwell or if something strange is going on. Normally I wouldn’t have bothered but it was only because it was in the breast area and I was concerned it might be something really bad that I went. I don’t consider gynecomastia to be that bad but I would never have found out about my testosterone levels otherwise. And I’d still be sitting here feeling like shit and not knowing why.
It is also important to remember that just because I’m fat there aren’t medical issues to that are the reason I’m feeling sluggish, tired, disinterested or whatever else. I’d suggest that people get things checked out and get it sorted. It probably helps that we’ve found an awesome doctor recently, but make the effort to find one because it is worth it.
Men of the world: Don’t feel ashamed to talk about health issues, especially issues to do with your “manliness” or whatever. Get it checked and get it fixed and you might be feeling better in no time.
Now after all that, I could use a snooze…
I’ve been ill recently. In fact, I’ve been quite ill for quite a long time but over the last two or three months it has gotten a little worse and a little harder to deal with. It leaves me feeling tired and lethargic and makes it a struggle sometimes to do daily tasks.
The symptoms come and go. Some days are really bad and I can do nothing else but function on a basic level. Most days are OK; not great, but good enough that I can do what I need to do and sometimes a little bit more.
Treatments are actually pretty hit and miss unfortunately. I had things under control for quite a while but recently they aren’t working as well. I’ve had to adjust the dosages of a medication for another issue and it has interacted with my main medication. So I’ll have to get the doctor to look into it for me and hopefully we’ll be back on track. But what they have found is that what works for one patient doesn’t work for another so it could be trial and error for a while.
Work has been difficult for me over the last few months. Thankfully I work from home a lot so I can work when I am well enough to and take time when I’m not. I know that my boss and other people I work with wish I could be more productive and work more hours than I do, but I do my best. I’m not sure they understand, but it can be hard to when you haven’t had to deal directly with an illness.
Like with my wife Natalie, who has Type 1 diabetes. I see what she goes through in order to live her life as normally as possible but there is no way that I could understand what it is like to have to live every day knowing that you have to keep control of your insulin levels in order to survive. In the same way, others who haven’t had what I’ve got must struggle to understand what it is like to be in my position. I do the best to tell them but I don’t think they understand. I don’t think they can.
Me dressed up to go out for coffee or something. I don't look very sick, do I?
I’m hopeful that with the right treatment my symptoms will become manageable and that I’ll start to feel better again. I can never be cured and I accept that, but I hope that I can live as close to a normal life as possible. It takes time and it isn’t easy but it is something that I want to do.
There are downsides to the treatments that I need to continue on. Some of them are too personal to discuss for even me, but others include lethargy (which is funny because that’s one of the symptoms to treat), changes in appetite, weight gain, sleeping issues and headaches. But I will deal with all that just so that I can start to feel a bit healthier again and be able to go on with life in a much better place.
I try not to make excuses for myself. I suck it up and get on with things as best I can. Sometimes, I do fail to get everything done or done on time. It is something I really hate because I am big on following through with commitments. I just do the best I can and feel bad most of the time for what I don’t do. This doesn’t help me feel any better.
One day I’ll be well enough to do all the things I used to do. For now, I just make the best of the situation and hopefully I’ll feel better soon.
So what is this illness? It isn’t cancer or diabetes or heart disease. It isn’t blood pressure or a broken bone or even something you can see.
It’s mental illness.
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Human Software Testing
The last few weeks of my life have been full of tests. Not medical or life changing ones. Software tests. If you aren’t aware by now, I’m a computer programmer by trade. Well I’m called a “Business Analyst/Developer” by my company, but that really just means I look at problems and solve them with code.
I’ve been working on a major project for quite a while now and we are at the point of running through testing scripts to see if there are any major issues with it. I’ve come to love and hate testing since I entered the full time world of software development. On the one hand, there is great satisfaction in running through all the tests to find that there are no errors and that something I created does exactly what it is meant to do. On the other hand, there are the times where I just feel like there is no end to the issues I am finding.
In a perfect world, every piece of software would run without fail from the moment it was written. There would never be any bugs or errors and the client would be happy with what I’ve produced. This perfect world doesn’t exist and quite often I will find things that I just wasn’t looking for when I was writing the code. Often it isn’t that the software doesn’t work right when I give it all the correct information but that the software takes incorrect information and doesn’t handle it gracefully, or even worse outputs some results which seem right but don’t make any sense.
I’ve come to appreciate just how much effort is required to test and review something and how hard it is to test something that I’ve made myself. I know what it should be doing and I know how things should be done. Often it is when people do things that I don’t expect that the big issues come up.
It’s a bit like life really. Sometimes it’s not until someone else comes along and points something out to me that I realise the error in my ways. It works perfectly for me from my point of view, but with the benefit of an outsider I can see things that need to be tweaked or thought through differently.
I know that in the last five years or so my viewpoint on the world and even myself has changed a great deal. This is because Natalie has been challenging me to open up my view of the world and to take a look at things a little differently. It’s like she is testing my internal software and saying “Hey, have you considered this?”
I know at first I struggled with it a lot. Sometimes I felt like she was breaking my brain. There were times that I just had to go off and process through the information she had given me and take time to absorb it.
It’s a bit like a programmer who has worked on a project for so long to be told of errors and they haven’t seen, and they just don’t want to see them. They get a bit cranky and upset and perhaps throw a tantrum. But if they are a decent programmer they eventually have to come back and analyse the information.
Sometimes the programmer will decide that there is no reason to change the software and that the result is as expected, or that the cost to change the program might be too much of a challenge. Sometimes though the programmer knows that they just have to suck it up and get in there and make the fixes that are needed. And it is the same with my internal software.
Sometimes it is just too hard to make the changes and I just let it go. It might be for a short time until it comes up again and I see it in a different light, or I have more time to deal with it. It might be something that gets mulled over for six months or more until I come up with a solution that fits the problem and fits me. But often I just realise that change is a must and get on with it.
It is amazing the things I have learnt about myself from what I do for a living. I’ve come to love my developer job, even though there have been challenges making the transition. And the things I learn about myself are just the icing on the cake.