Sometimes I feel like a minority within the fat acceptance movement. I feel like I’m a tiny voice trying to be heard but being drowned out by the other voices around me. Men are under-represented in the fatosphere for what is likely a multitude of reasons.
I think that many men don’t feel like they can voice their opinion on being fat. Or perhaps they don’t feel a major desire to voice their concerns. Maybe it is because men like to talk about other subjects more, and that talking about being fat feels shameful or triggers some emotion that as a man they don’t feel ready to deal with.
I know I struggle with the way that being fat makes me feel. I’m lucky to have grown up in an evironment where dealing with your feelings was ok and having a wife who has shown me how to talk about how I feel and even write about it. I can’t imagine what it must be like for a guy who feels that they can’t talk about how they feel to their loved ones, let alone the whole world through a blog. It must be difficult carrying around that feeling of guilt and perhaps sadness, which can even lead to anger and self-loathing. I know I feel that way sometimes but at least I have an outlet.
This is why I feel disappointed when I don’t get the chance to let my voice be heard. It isn’t about me wanting to be out there and being popular or what have you. I’ll admit that I enjoy working with the media, doing interviews and the like. But for me it is about getting the message out there and showing other men that it is ok to love yourself as a fat man. There is no need to bottle up feelings of anger and sadness and having them explode on you without warning. I know what that is like and it isn’t pleasant.
I want to help other men feel included. I want other men to feel empowered enough that they can perhaps talk about this with their mates or start writing things down in a blog, even if just for personal reflection. One day I’d love to see the number of men represented in the fatosphere increase to a point where I no longer feel like a minority. I don’t want to be the majority, but I want to feel like my voice is represented.
Fat is not a feminist issue. Fat is a humanist issue.