Resilience

I sat down this morning and start taking stock of myself and what quality/skill/thing I could work on to make myself a better manager and a better person. After some time I came up with one word.

Resilience.

When faced with something that makes me uncomfortable, anxious, where I doubt my ability to cope or achieve or when faced with a challenging interpersonal issue I am very quick to crumple like a scrap piece of paper. I will put things off to avoid the situation. I will tiptoe around the issue and then wonder why nothing is better. I will apologise when there is pushback and fold like a deck of cards.

Resilience.

When it all starts to get ‘too much’, my first instinct is to run. When I feel like people don’t like me or someone is upset with me, my first act is to bow and make amends. When someone has done the wrong thing I struggle to call them out on it because I don’t want to deal with the backlash I know is coming.

Resilience.

This year I am going to be more confident in my ability. I am going to do my homework so that when I have to call someone out I can back it up with facts. When I’m corrected on something because I didn’t have access to the information, I will not say sorry; I will say thank you for the information and make sure they make it available up front.

I am going to be resilient.

This year I am going to spend some time on me. I’m going to block out time in my calendar once a week to do planning work and reviewing all the information so I can make strong decisions. I’m going to find a mentor, and I’m going to draw on their experience and their outside view of situations to provide insights that I don’t have.

I am going to be resilient.

This year I accept that I am a good person with a great set of skills. I accept that I must use the skills of others to my (and their) advantage by delegating. I accept that I must show strength and unity but that I must be truthful. I accept that I have a responsibility to tell people when they have done wrong so that they have a chance to do right. I accept I have to have difficult conversations and deal with people who will be angry/upset/annoyed at what I say, but only because it is the truth.

I am going to be resilient.

I am resilient.

Photo by {Guerrilla Futures | Jason Tester}

Author: Nick Perkins

I'm an IT Manager by day. I'm a advocate for mental health awareness and fat acceptance by night.

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